Will Run For Ice Cream

Well today was the day.... it really was..... it was the day that I had mentally circled on the calendar... the new beginning.... the day that I figured out what works for me when it comes to nutrition.... What I didn't expect was for the scale at the Dr's office to reflect that I had gained 8lbs in 5 months... and this is in addition to the previous weight that I had already gained. 132.2... it's a number that I haven't seen except when I was pregnant with my son... and probably in the 3rd trimester at that. Defeated, frustrated and angry best described me at that moment... but I left the doctor's office

I put off going to the doctor for 6 months to a year. Why? Because I didn't want to weigh on the scale. Wait a minute, hear me out. I didn't want to weigh on the scale because I was afraid that the doctor would say something to me about me weight. But after being close to a year late for my gynecological exam, I knew that I needed to go. It was silly not to get regular check-ups because of my being afraid the doctor would harp on my weight. So last January, I went. And.. yep... the first thing he asked me was was I still running? I had gained about 20lbs in a year. The weight needed to come off. I was considered overweight now and the comments went on and on. I left the office feeling dejected. And I vowed to lose the weight. I was going to do this. And I did.... for the most part.. I dropped down to the 111 or so range.. still above my 105 but still a loss. And I was miserable and obsessed and began hiding to binge eat ( no I didn't purge or develop bulimia, but I di...

You know those pounds that I lost last week? Well, they are back. I am back up to 127lbs. Is it water weight? Maybe?  More than likely not... Am I frustrated? YEP ! Gone are the days in my 20's and 30's where I could drop 5lbs in one week by well, not changing much at all. Since I had Lil Man and I dieted to lose the 50lbs that I had gained during pregnancy, plus marathon training and dieting to try to get to ideal race weight, well my weight has been an issue for me - both physically and mentally. I guess that was my first time that I actually tried to lose more than a few vanity pounds, and well since then I have struggled ever since. And I'd honestly like to know why, because I think if I figure out the why then maybe I can find a solution ( for me ). And what I really want...

Wow, where to begin. It all started last weekend when a friend of mine from back home was in a terrible accident. I knew that he was fighting for his life, and my heart was crushed for him and his family. I knew it would be a long road to recovery, but I really thought he would pull through. Monday began with going to the podiatrist who told me that I have plantar fasciitis in both feet plus I have tarsal tunnel syndrome in the right. I wasn't surprised to hear that. He then proceeded to bring up my weight... as in weight gain... as in the extra 15-20lbs that I'm carrying around. He told me that my body doesn't like it, and my body is letting me know. The extra weight is causing the nerves to be pressed in my foot which is making the tarsal tunnel syndrome worse. I left the podiatrist office with tears in my eyes as I drove to the gym. It's so very frustrating to know that the weight is causing issues, but it's climbing instead of falling. Or that's been t...

I kept saying that I had to do something ... that something had to change .. that I was tired of feeling the way that I feel about myself. I thought I had finally had the moment where I had decided to do things different. But the reality showed otherwise. I said I wanted it, but did I? Because if I really did want changes, wouldn't I change? But then... the moment actually did happen... it wasn't anything significant... no upcoming event... no reason that I needed to drop any pounds or feel better about myself for anything in particular... it was partly because of this blog... I have a few subscribers ( people who receive my blog via email ).. and for some reason for that certain day, my numbers were up. And I couldn't help but think, what if I could help one person along with myself? What if my actions helped changed one person's life? And that was

I told you previously that I was struggling with some things ( I Have A Confession To Make About My Weight)  so when I saw the race pic from the Rothrock 10K (Recap of the race here ) - I really shouldn't have been surprised to see the harsh reality. But the reality was a little too real if you know what I mean. And it also explains why running and working out is so much harder for me lately ( the added weight gain ). So, I decided I had to do something. I felt desperate and I decided that I had to diet. No, I mean I have to cut calories or something. I have to do something. I have to see results and fast . So, I logged into my old trusty MyFitnessPal. (Now, let me say. Tracking works for thousands of people I'm sure ( if not more ). I do believe the calories in / calories out can work. So if this method works for you, by all means keep on keeping on. I think the reality is that everyone has to find what works for them. And we are all uniquely different.) Day 1 went so...

I have a confession to make.... and it's definitely one that I'm not proud of. I thought that maybe going 'silent' would mean that I didn't have to deal with it. But that's not the reality. I've been eating my emotions.. ALL of my emotions. I'm happy - I eat . I'm sad - I eat . I'm angry - I eat. I'm stressed - I ea t. I'm bored - I eat . And well, you get the picture. I stepped on the scale at the gym... defeated doesn't even begin to explain how I felt. I knew. My clothes told me. I didn't need 'a scale' to tell me. I knew. I kept saying that I was just 'bloated' or this or that. But the cold hard reality is no... I've gained more weight and slipped back into the all or nothing mentality. When I got injured from the dog ( When the Unexpected Happens ) all exercise basically stopped. I was upset in a lot of areas in my life, and I turned to food for comfort. Add a lot of traveling this Summer ( think...

Well, let's just say that Godiva got the best of me over Valentine's weekend. Combined with stress, the fact that we were off of our schedule with not having preschool for 5 days, and that chocolate/candy was in abundance everywhere, I had several days of eating a lot of junk. ( really not happy about this as I slipped into old habits) . Combine that my hormones are out of whack ( that is another long story, but no I'm not pregnant! ), my weigh in this week resulted

When the first question the doctor asked me was "Are you still running?" because he saw my weight. . let's just say my heart sank. I'd gained 15lbs since my last Dr visit. Silly, I know... but I cried when I got in the car. I can't say that I've been 'giving it my all' to try to lose weight, but it's been a battle lately where the only thing that I'm losing is.. well my motivation to keep trying! The scale has not been my friend.