Will Run For Ice Cream

(confession time) Back in 2014, I took before pictures. I believed I tried a 30 day food challenge. And I never took an after picture. Why? Because I never made it through the 30 day food challenge. In fact, through 2015 I GAINED weight. I can't blame it all on injuries or lack of exercise. Basically, it's been my nutrition - my lack of proper nutrition. And after a year of struggling with weight gain and body image, I've decided it really is time that I do something about it... for me. I'm tired of feeling bleh.. and not liking the image looking back at me.

Full Disclosure: I received products free of charge for the purpose of providing a review. My opinions are completely my own based on my experience. I don't know about you, but although it feels like Winter has been a little delayed here in PA, I've still struggled a little to get out there and get some of those key runs in. Thankfully, I've signed up for some Virtual races from RunningOnTheWall  and it's helped me with my motivation ( Do You Lack Motivation? ) Every time I get my race packet, I get super excited to get out there and do my 'race'. I mean check this out. This race packet is awesome!

In the big scheme of things, my issues yesterday are a tiny drop in the bucket compared to the real problems in life. ( How Hard It Is To Be Me ). But I won't lie.. it was a pity party, lots of tears and emotions kind of day.  By mid-afternoon I needed to get back out on the trails. Because of hunting season, it's been a couple of weeks since I've been trail running . So I ended the day excited to get back on the trails today - for a short run. My mileage this week has been almost non-existent, and I didn't want to overdo it. ( I'm trying to build my mileage back, but with the holidays that's been tough.) But I was excited to get back on the trails today. I knew that it was foggy. I didn't realize how foggy until I got to the top of the mountain.

No one has a clue just how hard it is to be me sometimes. I'm supposed to be running a race right now. Instead, I'm staring a computer screen through tears. Why? ... fear.. anxiety... unsure of the exact location where the race was being held.. but it all comes down to fear .

We've all noticed them. They start popping up this time of the year. I too have contributed in the past ( You can read 2013's here )  - The "Year End" review. Usually in my social circle they consist of # of miles run, racing accomplishments, memories of accomplishments over the past year. This year I'm not really sure of my miles run. My racing has been limited, and my accomplishments haven't been PRs. But that being said... This did happen...

Control... just saying the word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Lately, I feel like I haven't had control over much in my life. I can't really tell you why. Nothing specific has happened or hasn't happened .. but I've definitely been feeling a lack of control lately. When I need control, I sometimes clean or organize or both. Neat, order, things in place - attractive, tidy, pleasing to the eye. It brings a sense of satisfaction. Hello Goodwill!  Then my 4 year old scoots by on his knees and I see black feet. I look down at my own to see dirty socks.

Do you lack motivation during the colder Winter months? I'll admit, it's been harder for me to get outside this year than in years past. I think it's because the temps are colder in the morning, it's dreary and rainy but no SNOW. I want snow. I crave snow. I love running in the snow. It's just so pretty, and to me, makes the colder temps bearable! Where is my snow?!? Instead, this week it's been rain and wind. I had mad plans with a friend to run yesterday, but at 6:30am we were messaging back and forth. "It's so windy". "It sounds awful out there.". "The wind chill is in the upper 20's". "Let's bail. Ok". 5 minutes later "You know, we might as just suck it up and do it." "I know. I was thinking the same thing". "See you at 9:45am"