When Did Food Become My Enemy?

When did food become my enemy? When did it become all or nothing? I'm over my calories so I might as well eat the entire cake instead of just a piece. When did it become about calories and grams and percentages? When did an app and a number dictate my life? When did I start looking at an apple and see 45-60 calories, a glass of milk 150 for whole, 90 for skim. I know these numbers in my head. I no longer see food - instead I see a calorie count. When was the last time that I ate without guilt, the last time that I sat down for a cheeseburger and fries and didn't think "I'll do better tomorrow"? When did a number start deciding my mood? When did I start setting a calorie goal for each day that I needed to keep? And then feeling like a failure if I didn't reach that goal? When was the last time that I just simply ate without over-analyzing what I was eating?