Will Run For Ice Cream

Ya’ll, I’ve lost it. No really, I’ve lost it. I’ve struggled my entire life it feels like with nutrition related issues. But exercise for the most part has never been an issue for me. It was just something that I did. Sure, I’d get off track here and there. I’ve been known to blow off some training runs. I’ve missed workouts due to sickness and injury and life in general. But with those things I’m talking days, not weeks. Even when I was injured I found some way to stay active. Now, don’t get me wrong. My step count will tell you that I’m still on the move, but that’s my daily life movement. Without exercise, I’m averaging around 100,000 steps a week. If you read my last post ( Taking Time For You Is Not Selfish - It's Necessary ) then you know that I haven’t exercised consistently since September. Since that post, I’ve struggled to stay on track. In fact, I haven’t exercised since I wrote the last post. I will pause a moment for the collective gasp. So, I’m back here with you ...

Recently I reached a point where I stopped checking in with myself. I stopped asking what I needed. I stopped listening to those emotional cues telling me that I needed a break. It started when I got that horrid virus in September. It really took it out of me. For weeks and yes I said weeks the exhaustion was unreal. All workouts stopped, it became about just making it through the day. It was getting everyone fed, making lunches, planning dinner, struggling to get it all done, making sure homework was completed, getting laundry done... the list goes on and on. As I eventually recovered, I still kept pushing through. I didn’t check back in. I just kept going and going to the point that I reached that point. The point where you have to blow off steam, the small eruptions before the big one. Exercising was non-existent. Binge eating sugar became the norm. And my mini meltdowns became more frequent and larger and larger.