Will Run For Ice Cream

I wish that I could write that I'd done it... that I had reached my goal weight. But the reality is I let others' opinions and self doubt creep into my head. So my 2lbs a week weight loss came to a grinding halt and I hit a massive plateau. This snowballed into a self destructive pattern that has resulted in a very unproductive month. Well, to be honest, I can't say that. Because you can learn from every situation right?

When I started this journey with ditching the sugar ( How I'm Going To Overcome Sugar Addiction ), I decided to step on the scale. I didn't want to see how bad I'd let the weight gain get to, but I wanted to see a new starting point. 130.2 ( at least 20lbs or so over my normal weight ). And during this time of focusing on removing the sugar, I haven't focused on weight. And I don't intend to allow myself to focus on weight at this point either. But, I don't want to replace sugar with another type of food.

I kept saying that I had to do something ... that something had to change .. that I was tired of feeling the way that I feel about myself. I thought I had finally had the moment where I had decided to do things different. But the reality showed otherwise. I said I wanted it, but did I? Because if I really did want changes, wouldn't I change? But then... the moment actually did happen... it wasn't anything significant... no upcoming event... no reason that I needed to drop any pounds or feel better about myself for anything in particular... it was partly because of this blog... I have a few subscribers ( people who receive my blog via email ).. and for some reason for that certain day, my numbers were up. And I couldn't help but think, what if I could help one person along with myself? What if my actions helped changed one person's life? And that was

For the first time in years, I am eating guilt free. I honestly thought that was something that I would never say. Because truthfully, I never thought that food would cause me to feel guilt. It wasn't until recently that I realized that I have developed disordered eating. (I Lost A Dietbet) And I have decided to do something about it. I'm about half way through with the book Intuitive Eating  (affiliate link). So I still have a lot to learn, and this will definitely be a process.