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When You Reach The Moment You'll Know

I kept saying that I had to do something... that something had to change.. that I was tired of feeling the way that I feel about myself. I thought I had finally had the moment where I had decided to do things different. But the reality showed otherwise. I said I wanted it, but did I? Because if I really did want changes, wouldn't I change?

But then... the moment actually did happen... it wasn't anything significant... no upcoming event... no reason that I needed to drop any pounds or feel better about myself for anything in particular... it was partly because of this blog... I have a few subscribers (people who receive my blog via email).. and for some reason for that certain day, my numbers were up. And I couldn't help but think, what if I could help one person along with myself? What if my actions helped changed one person's life?

And that was
my moment.

And when it felt too hard to keep trying to find what works for me, I thought of you... whoever you are reading this post... because I imagine you are dealing with something hard in your life too.. whether it's weight loss, low self-esteem, marital issues, sickness.... the list goes on and on... and I wouldn't want you to give up... so why would I give up on me?

I'm still experimenting to find what works for me. Because the reality is - you have to find what works for you. I have friends who use Shakeology, Isogenix and other various things. They are doing great, and I am happy for them. But for me personally, that's not a road that I want to take.. for my own personal reasons. But they have found what works for them, and I am truly happy for them.

Currently, I'm experimenting. And I'm using bits and pieces from various programs.

I love the idea of Intuitive Eating (When Pictures Don't Lie), and since this post, I have tried to follow it ... I suppose loosely. And for a while I went back to tracking for a few days... because I am frustrated. I feel that I need to see results. But tracking has led me to back to the all or nothing attitude. And the end goal (for me) is to lose some weight, keep it off, and well, just eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full. Basically fuel my body in the way that it needs to be fueled.

But there are also some parts of Intuitive Eating that I'm not 100% on board with. I think things should be done in moderation. I don't think I should eat cake all day just because "I want to". And maybe I never got past the first stage or so with Intuitive Eating, but I think I need a little more structure.

So I'm still experimenting to find what works for me. I know when my trouble with tracking/bingeing/weight gain began (but that's another blog post for another day)

I don't even know my own body anymore or how to listen to it. I've listened to apps, books, other blog posts and social media so much that I'm uncertain when my body truly needs fuel.

So I'm currently taking bits and pieces from various programs and seeing if I can make it work for me. I did try tracking again (for 3 days) and that only led me to binge eating at night because I was 'over' my calories. So it's pretty obvious that tracking is really not the answer for me. I've tried it over and over and well... I end up gaining instead of losing.

What is the answer? Well that remains to be seen... but I'm trying this...

The intuitive eating approach as far as re-learning how to listen to my body. Eat when I'm hungry. Stop when I'm full. And don't eat out of emotion. That's step 1.

The next step that I'm trying this week is to  be mindful of what I choose to eat... meaning I need to shift my focus from processed food (which I eat a lot of) to less processed food (more veggies - less boxed, prepackaged items). I don't plan to ban any food type from my diet. But I do plan to eat way less processed food.

I'm still on the fence about weighing myself. I feel that I need to to keep things in check. But at the same time, I am lifting weights, and after a hard workout, I do retain water. I know that I do. So I don't want to get hung up solely on the scale. I plan to also use other indicators.

But my focus is learning to know my own body, and truly finding what works for me.

And from the time that I had my moment, my true something has to change so that I personally feel better about myself mentally and physically moment, I have put my plan into action.

And I do plan to update you weekly on my progress and my struggles. I will be openly honest with you, because... well... that's just who I am.

You are helping me to push forward, and I hope that if you are struggling with something in your life, that you won't give up on you... that you will find your true moment... and together we'll move forward.

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