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Kick In The Gut

Wow, where to begin. It all started last weekend when a friend of mine from back home was in a terrible accident. I knew that he was fighting for his life, and my heart was crushed for him and his family. I knew it would be a long road to recovery, but I really thought he would pull through.

Monday began with going to the podiatrist who told me that I have plantar fasciitis in both feet plus I have tarsal tunnel syndrome in the right. I wasn't surprised to hear that. He then proceeded to bring up my weight... as in weight gain... as in the extra 15-20lbs that I'm carrying around. He told me that my body doesn't like it, and my body is letting me know. The extra weight is causing the nerves to be pressed in my foot which is making the tarsal tunnel syndrome worse.

I left the podiatrist office with tears in my eyes as I drove to the gym. It's so very frustrating to know that the weight is causing issues, but it's climbing instead of falling. Or that's been the trend lately.

As I was at the gym taking my frustration out on some bicep curls, I got a facebook message asking me about my friend back home. Someone saw a post that he had died. I immediately contacted one of my friends from back home. He had tried to call me while I was at the dr's office, and I guess the call didn't go through.
It was true. My friend had died. I didn't believe it. They had to be wrong. It couldn't. I wouldn't accept it. He's not dead. He's not. He's too young. He has a wife, a family, a life ahead of him. It's not real. It's not. And then I lost it at the gym. I couldn't control it as the tears came.

Of course I had to leave, and I called my Mom to tell her the news, and my husband to let them know. I drove home still in shock.

When I got Lil Man off of the bus, I was still reeling from the fact that my friend had died, but I knew that I needed to focus on him and his day. And the minor allergies that I was hoping he had, was instead, our first head cold of the season.

By Tuesday night, I woke up at midnight feeling like I had been hit. My throat, my head, my body it all ached. Apparently I too now had the dreaded first cold of the season. Hubby came down with it the following day.

We've snotted all week long. I don't think snotted is a word, but it definitely describes my week - lots and lots of snot. One big ole snotty week.

Thankfully Hubby and Lil Man have been able to function better than I have. I don't know if it's the emotional drain or maybe I'm just a weenie, but I haven't been able to function. I've walked to put Lil Man on the bus, and walked to bring him home. But that's been about it.

I did get on the treadmill one day for a slow walk at an incline. I just needed to sweat. I needed some type of stress relief. It helped with the stress - not so much with the cold. I felt so much worse the rest of the day and the following day.

With these cool temps, I really want to get on the trail, but I know I'm still not well.

Saturday, I had an appointment to get my hair cut. When I made the appointment, I had only planned on getting a 'trim'. But after this week, by Saturday morning, I was online looking for a new 'do. Yep, I need a change. And since I can't change the events of this past week, I can change my hair right? I mean that's only logical right? ;)

Honestly, I wind up wearing my hair in a pony tail / hot mess bun 99% of the time. Hubby doesn't like short hair, but I needed a change.

So I txt my friend who is my hair stylist and gave the heads up that today we were going to cut it.




Looking at the before pics, I think wow my hair was so pretty. ha. But I like the after pics too. I love the back, and I'm getting used to the front.

I have natural wave in my hair, and I want to let it air dry / scrunch it. It will take me some time to get used to it, and learning how to style it. But I like it. And I like the change. Sometimes you just need a change. And sometimes that change is the motivation that you need to make other changes.

Today, I'm 100% committed to working on the weight loss. I'm using a plan that a nutritionist friend gave me. I want to give it a couple of weeks 'all in' and see if this is finally the answer for me. I'll keep you updated, and when I get a chance next week, I'll tell you exactly what I'm doing. And hopefully it will be what I've been looking for.

But as the week was winding down yesterday, I got the final kick in the gut for the week. A friend had to cut me out of her life. It's her story to tell, and I understand her reasoning. But rejection, no matter what form it is in, hurts. I sat on the couch and once again let the waterworks flow. It wasn't a pleasant afternoon. And I ended the night with a massive sinus headache from congestion and crying.

But today, like any new day, is a blessing. It can be a fresh start (if needed), or a continuation of a commitment to yourself and others.

And I'm starting today with a new attitude... kindof like my hair.... simple, easy going, not demanding that everything be in place, instead ... just going with the flow... making the best of what is... just being the best version of me that I can be in this moment.

Writing is one of my passions, and I'm stepping out there on faith to follow my dream. If you like this blog or this post, please take a moment to share it with friends. Thank you for helping me follow my dream.

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  1. So sorry to hear of the compounding issues you faced. Not a good week for you at all. "But today, like any new day, is a blessing." Words to by which to truly LIVE. Take care.


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