So I didn't weigh. I didn't plan to. I've felt the best that I've felt in a long time. Overall, I feel the last week was a success with my eating. I probably didn't listen to my body maybe 3 days last week. But for my first real week to give it 100%, I felt that was success. So I didn't want a number to dictate my mood. But I felt sooooo great and just knew that the scale had budged that I stepped on that evil little device.
I think it said 127.8. I honestly didn't stay on long enough to see the full number. Disgusted that it wasn't below 127 which was what it was last week. So I grabbed the tape measure.. umm...yeah.. well I didn't really have a starting measurement with that other than what I had a year or so ago.. and from that time I'm about 2" larger than before with every measurement.
I felt it... the disappointment... the ... thoughts of just giving up... but then I immediately stopped that mentality.
First of all, I've been doing this a week, and I'm still learning how to listen to my body. I feel better than I have in a long time. I haven't been obsessed or preoccupied with food or calories or good or bad. I've stopped eating a donut mid-donut because I was full. I had a container of 3Bs in my freezer that I hate half, knew that I was full and saved the rest for the following day.
That my friends is progress. Because in the past, I would have eaten the entire donut (or two) and then a few hours later found something else to fill my sweet tooth. The same with the ice cream. I have been to 3Bs more than once during the day. Hey, I'm just being honest. I would go during the afternoon and either go back in the evening or send Hubby to bring me some home.
So for me to stop mid way through was a huge success for me. And the same thing happened with my meals. If I was full, I usually stopped. Now, like I said, I had a few days that I overate. I knew that I wasn't hungry but we had stopped for food because everyone else was hungry. And I wound up eating way more than I should. But there were times that I actually wanted and chose fruit over chocolate - that was also success.
I do realize how weighing really does play with my head. And I could easily be eating right now just because "what's the point" it isn't working mentality. But instead, I was able to grab a hold of those emotions and stop them in their tracks.
I'm not sure about the weight loss or how this will work. Maybe the new me will be 3 pant sizes bigger than the smaller version of me... I don't know. But I do know that I don't want to diet or be calorie obsessed or food obsessed. I want to know my own body again... and this is the road that I am on for now.
I never imagined I would be 43 and truly not know when I was hungry or full or satisfied. I often ask myself, how did this happen? The reality is I stopped knowing my own body when I allowed apps and calorie counters to dictate what I did or didn't eat.
So this is where I am... a week into intuitive eating (Eating Guilt Free) and I'm committed to giving this a real try at least for 4-6 weeks or so... to see where I am at the end of that time...
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