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Your Body Is A Gift

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It was like I had a major light bulb moment. I mean for the last 6 years, weight loss has always been a goal along with getting more physically fit and stronger. And I've heard people say that you only have one body, and you need to take care of it blah blah blah...

But it's like I felt this on a personal level - like WAKE UP GIRL! You have ONE BODY. It's YOUR responsibility to take care of the GIFT that you have been given. I experienced this while I was in bed with pain in both of my feet. My right foot was throbbing from the arthritis, and my left foot was in as much pain from my plantar fasciitis. In that moment it didn't take a genius to figure out that my body is really dealing with a lot of inflammation. And that I had been eating more for fun than for healing and nutrition.

It was definitely another nudge for me to really work on focusing to eat with a purpose. Oh, another highly processed cookie, another scoop of ice cream, another handful of marshmallows re…

I'm Embarrassed By My Lack Of Control

*hanging my head in shame here*. Really, I'm truly embarrassed. So this is what happened. I'm struggling with doing my strength training. I was doing great as long as I was working with a trainer. But the funds for that ran out, and I'm left to my own devices to stay motivated and push myself to get the job done.

Well.... I haven't. I had my last session with my trainer last Monday and didn't really pick up a weight since.... not one bicep curl was performed, or chest press, or lunge.. you get the picture.

So last night I was determined that was going to change. I looked up the gym schedule and decided on the insane 5:15am class. I went to bed early. Fell asleep fairly quick (which isn't normal for me), and then Hubby came to bed late. He woke me up and I couldn't fall back to sleep. As in it was 2am and I'm fuming - absolutely fuming because I have laid awake all night with the goal of getting up at 4:30am to go workout. Around 2:30ish or so, I turned off the alarm. I knew it wasn't going to happen.

But I was angry - more angry that I should have been.
In the big scheme of things it wasn't that big of a deal, but I allowed it to snowball out of proportion. I was angry that I was awake. Angry that I am still struggling to do strength training on my own. Angry that at times I feel so alone with the things that I do in life. Angry I was hot. Angry that there was too much light in the room. Angry at my lack of control with things in my life that I know I should have under control. I think you get the picture.

At 6:45am this morning, I grumbled to Hubby and got out of bed. I went downstairs to workout, but I checked the computer first (procrastinating much???). I saw on facebook that there had been an accident and the main road was shut down - for hours. And had I got up when I had first planned I still wouldn't have been able to get to the gym. In fact, I would have either had to turn around and come right back home, or I would have been sitting for quite a long time on the highway to then be sent back home.

Talk about a wave of guilt and embarrassment for my actions, and a quick prayer of thanks that the events that I was so angry about had happened - because those events could have very well kept me safe.

I finally got off of the computer and got in a strength workout, along with some balance work.

I'm still struggling to push myself when I strength train  by myself. But as I've said it before, and I'll have to keep reminding myself I'm sure, but this is MY journey. I need to stop comparing my journey to others. This one is MINE. And with my running (Becoming The Woman I Am Meant To Be) this also applies to other areas in my life.

Just like I had to push through the fear with running, I need to step outside of my comfort zone with strength training. I need to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm not there yet.

And on a side note, I need to work on exercising some some self control.




"For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:7

My journey to a healthier me continues...


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Comments

  1. I'm one of those people who don't stick with it unless I have something scheduled every day. It took me a long time to discover that. So now I either lift, go running, yoga or walk every day. MyFitnessPal helps with my food and activity scheduling.

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