Skip to main content

When Jealousy Takes The Lead

It's that time of the year when fall racing season begins. If you are a runner, then you I know what I mean. Training ramps up, races overlap each other, the temps start dropping, and we all give one collective sigh of aaaahhhhhhhh

But for me, since my training has been less than stellar, and my tarsal tunnel syndrome has reared it's ugly head, in addition to frustration I've struggled a little with jealousy.

See, just because you used to run X pace, if you have to take an extended time off (like I did.. silly freak dog injury When the Unexpected Happens), you can't expect to just jump back into the game and pick up where you left off. Nor can you think that you can keep up with all of your running friends who haven't taken time off.

And I didn't listen. I tried to come back a little too fast. I was frustrated at how slow it was coming along... and how slow my pace was.. how hard it felt... it was like starting over.. like I'd never run before... and I pushed a little too hard. And my body is yelling at me with plantar fasciitis and tarsal tunnel syndrome. As the temps are cooling off, and the humidity is dropping, I'm popping advil and resting instead of running. But I know there will be other cool mornings....
STOP comparing! 

But what is truly bothering me is jealousy.... and comparison. How old am I going to be before I finally stop allowing myself to be jealous of others. I allow that comparison to steal my joy. How silly that is!!!

And I let the peer pressure suck me back into distance running..
when currently I hate it. I really do. The thoughts of an 8-10 mile run.. oh goodness.. even a 6 mile run at this point is just not something that I truly don't want to do.. but everyone else was doing it... and I jumped in with both feet and signed up for some distance races. When the reality is I truly currently don't enjoy them.... mentally I'm just not into it and physically my body is yelling what are you doing to me?

So, I think it's time that I stopped allowing jealousy and comparison and well... just trying to fit in ... from controlling my decisions.

It feels like every time I think about becoming more active in the local running group, they are all running distance runs or training for distance races. So I feel the pressure to do the same....

But why keep doing something that I don't currently enjoy? Isn't that silly...

And I think that it is.... So I just literally tossed the current training plan out the window.. (ok.. maybe not out the window but I did crumble it up and put it in the trash)

And before anyone thinks I'm not going to keep running or be active, that's not the new plan. The new plan is to do what makes me happy.. which is what I should have been doing way before now.

That means continue to push myself and grow in ways that make me happy. If that means a 3 mile run instead of a 5 mile run, that's what that means. If it means running without any regard to distance or pace that's what that means. If it means biking and then going for a hike that's what that means.

What I personally want to do is get my fitness back! I want running to be enjoyable again, not a task, not a chore, and definitely not something that makes me unhappy.

But I also know that for that to happen I have to stop being jealous! And I have to stop the comparison.

But isn't that pretty much true with anything in life?

To sign up to receive Will Run For Ice Cream via email, click here.

Writing is one of my passions, and I'm stepping out there on faith to follow my dream. If you like this blog or this post, please take a moment to share it with friends. 

Share this on Facebook?

Share on Tumblr
Add to Flipboard Magazine.

I'm A Top Health & Fitness Blogger @ Top Mommy Blogs - Please Click To Give Me A Vote

Please Note: This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a commission if you make a purchase using the affiliate link.


Popular posts from this blog

Self Care Is Not Selfish It's Necessary

It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. And I'll say it just one more time in case you didn't hear me. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. I have found through experience that when I'm not taking care of myself, not only do I suffer but my family suffers. So ditch the mom guilt and take the time that you need! I have a tendency to keep pushing my needs aside until I reach a breaking point. We've had a very busy fun summer so far. However, I've struggled to get some quality ' me ' time to decompress. I'll spare you the meltdown that ensued. But the reality check that followed prompted me to take action.

Running My Life

Wow, has it really been 2 years since my last post? I suppose that I allowed life to get in the way. For any faithful blog readers, I apologize. Although, I'm not sure how many people actually read blogs anymore. I think most people use other social media platforms.  (By the way, drop by and say hi on Insta. )  But for some reason, each year when I pay for my google domain, I can't seem to let it go. As silly as it sounds, this little space is mine. And lately I've been struggling with ownership and acceptance. And my domain renewal was a not so gentle reminder that I have a voice .  Seriously, you'd think by 48 that I'd have this figured out - nope - apparently not. However, I am wise enough to know that we have a choice to allow situations to harms us or make us stronger. I'm choosing to let this mid-life quandary make me stronger. And because of this, I'm setting goals, taking charge, and reexamining priorities.  Movin' on... 

When The Planner In You Must Be Flexible

In case you haven’t figured this out by now, I’m a planner. I know - shocker right?!? :) So although I love substitute teaching, it’s making the planner in me anxious. And it’s been reeking havoc on my workouts. Basically the morning of or maybe the night before, I find out if I’m working. So my day ( that I thought I had planned ) can be turned upside down in an instant. But, truthfully, isn’t that really the same with everyone?