If you've been reading along, or know me in real life, you know that this last year has not been the best in terms of running. No fears, I'm not going to re-hash any of it. I'm ready to move on.
But because of the tumultuous year, I've had a lot to think about. I feel slightly removed from my running group (probably more so it's my own self consciousness possibly coming through and not the actual reality). I guess I feel a little (pardon my slang) like the red-headed step-child. It doesn't help that I've been injured.
But during this time, I've come to make some self realizations:
The first being that I really didn't notice that in most cases, I would see who else that I knew might be running a race before I registered. I mean, really, how silly is that? If there is a race that I truly want to run, what difference should it make who is or who isn't running it?!?
The second is that I always felt that I needed someone else to help me be a faster better runner. Like I couldn't do it on my own.... When the reality is, I think I can (be a faster better runner). I don't need someone to meet me at the track. I don't need someone to run with me in the dark. I don't need someone to push me on the treadmill. I don't need someone to spur me on. Sure, it helps not to be alone, and it helps to have someone to push and motivate. But there is a difference between a want and a need. (And just to be clear, if you are next to me on the treadmill at the gym, at some point I am racing you. It's just how I roll. I can't help myself).
The third realization is that you are what you think. If I think that I can't do it; chances are I won't. And I really need to work on self doubt and negative thought patterns. I am strong enough.
I am enough.
That statement alone could sum up this post. It's time that I stopped looking (outside) myself but started looking within.
As I'm looking at the upcoming year of races, I'm approaching it very different than years past. Oh yeah, I plan to race again. You know better than to think I won't rejoin the racing crowd. I love it. This year I'm trying to focus more on races that I truly want to run, on my improvement, improving my time, my stamina, my goals verses comparing myself to others. I have a really hard time with the last part, but I'm a work in progress you know.
See you at the starting line, the finish line, and all of the places in between.
Is there a particular area with running that you struggle with?
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Great post. I've made a lot of running excuses this year after breaking up with a guy who was acting as my running coach. I need to go out there and get it for myself because like you said, I am enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you. Sorry to hear about the break up, but you are right that you are enough! So get back out there, and be the best you can be. I know you'll do awesome.
DeleteSo funny...I'm the exact opposite! I do a lot of races and train by myself. I always feel funny asking people to run with me, almost like an imposition. I know that's weird and I've been working on getting over that. This past year, I met an awesome group of women who I meet at races and I've learned how much fun that can be!
ReplyDeleteWe're always growing, aren't we?
~Wendy at Taking the Long Way Home
Yep - we are always growing! :) And so cool that you met an awesome group of women who meet at races. I think I'd like to have a mixture of both people to run with but also the confidence to know that I can go it solo and be just fine also.
DeleteYou ARE enough. Love this sport, and it will love you right back, darling.
ReplyDeleteBottom line: You aren't running for anyone else.
Thank you :)
DeleteYou are enough! We all are and we all need to remember that in all areas of life! XOXO
ReplyDeleteI agree.. it should be in all areas.. not just running.
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