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Is It Me?


Is it because I only have one kid? Maybe that’s it? They are just too busy with all of their children that they don’t have time to be social?

But wait – I see all of the pictures on Facebook – pictures of smiling Moms, happy kids playing with captions like “best buds” “Life-long friends” “Love these ladies” “I don’t know how I’d make it without them.”

I can’t say what it’s like to make it with a group of close-knit friends, but I can tell you what it’s like to make it without them. For me, it’s lonely. I go days without anyone asking how I am or even checking in with me. If I don’t reach out first, it’s quite silent. 

I wonder sometimes will I be that person who dies in their house and no one knows for days – until neighbors call the police due to a particular odor that just won’t go away?
I know as long as my Mom is alive, she’d at least know before I was too far gone. Oh, and Hubby, he’d know something was up once he realized it was just way too quiet. :) Poor hubby, he takes the brunt of my loneliness and lack of friends. Some days he’s just bombarded as soon as he gets home, when the reality is he needs some down time.

So the question is, is it me? It has to be right? I mean after all of these years I really can’t find any other explanation as to why I don’t have this network of friends that I see everywhere. I don’t stay holed up in my house. I get out as best as I can, and try to meet people, until it’s just too painful to always feel like the odd man out. But I try. Or I feel like I do. So why am I the one who is always alone? 

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Comments

  1. You are not alone in feeling alone. I feel the same way walking that gauntlet of happily chattering groups. And maybe I just don't try hard enough either. I do feel jealous of those that seem to find friends easily. But a part of me also feels like putting a lot of energy into a friendship based purely on having children in the same classroom for a year seems futile... and with four kids, energy is not something I have in large quantities! My small group Bible study are my true rock star friends, until them I also felt completely adrift. We are starting more small groups this fall to go through The Story sermon series, let Adam know if you are interested and he will hook you up with a group. :)

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    Replies
    1. Will do. Thanks! And yeah, with 4 kids, that doesn't leave a lot of energy left over :)

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  2. I always like reading interesting content and your blog surpasses my expectations every time.really very relevant writing performance.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it!

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