Letting Go Of Control

Control... just saying the word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. Lately, I feel like I haven't had control over much in my life. I can't really tell you why. Nothing specific has happened or hasn't happened .. but I've definitely been feeling a lack of control lately.

When I need control, I sometimes clean or organize or both. Neat, order, things in place - attractive, tidy, pleasing to the eye. It brings a sense of satisfaction.

Hello Goodwill! 

Then my 4 year old scoots by on his knees and I see black feet. I look down at my own to see dirty socks.

Cause the realty is - my life isn't a tidy neat place even if I have everything in place. It's chaotic, dirty, cobwebs, dust bunnies, the occasional ring of filth in the toilet, caked on at times baked on food on dirty dishes. It's piles of laundry, honey can you get the blood out of my hunting clothes, look Mom I got some coal, and I don't know who peed on the floor. 

Because the truth is no matter how much I try to have 'control' I don't. And for my sanity and those around me dare I start singing 'Let it go. Let it go"

(your welcome as that song rattles around in your head for hours). 

And deeper still, I need to let go of the 'need' to feel in control of every situation. No one needs that kind of pressure. And no one needs the pressure of trying to live up to someone else's standards. 

Any other perfectionists out there?? 

So here's to learning to embrace dirty feet, 4-year old attitudes, and realizing that it's not my job to control things and those around me ... even if it is my circus and my monkeys. 

 

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