Will Run For Ice Cream

I'm ready - mentally that is. Physically, well, not so sure. But mentally, I'm ready. Am I nervous? Well yeah. But I've finally got my head in the right place. Now I just need to keep it there for the remaining 6 days and through the race. I am strong. I am determined. I am stubborn. I am powerful. I am not a quitter (maybe a whiner - ha), but not a quitter.  " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao-tzu"  I am ready to take that single step. 

I can't say this was a GREAT run, but it left me with a feeling of accomplishment that I finished it. I did 5 hilly miles this morning. Glad I tested out the Ipod that went through the washer. After 2 weeks in rice, it was working again. It took a charge. It played music. However, the volume doesn't work. It's 'stuck', and it's stuck on a very loud volume. So it was a good thing that I tested it before race day. One more LR (8 miles) then a couple of short runs... then 26.2. We are having scheduling conflicts with my last LR. So I'm considering a late afternoon run tomorrow. I don't usually like running in the afternoon/evenings. But if I can get my LR in tomorrow, that will free up Saturday morning. So for now, that's the plan. I'll drop Lil Man off with Hubby, and I'll get in my last LR. The time is counting down...

Lots of emotions this week.. I turned 40 on Monday. The day was actually more difficult than I thought it would be. Last night I looked at the registration information, and I'm officially registered. It was really weird to see my name, location and then 40 as the age. This marathon will be my first race at 40. Why not start off this decade with a marathon? :) I'm bib number 109. I don't feel ready - not mentally or physically. So I have 10 more days to get my head in the right place. Even in writing this post, I wanted to say marathon attempt instead of marathon. Honestly, I'm really afraid I'm going to fail. I've never been one to have a lot of confidence in myself. And right now, I'm still searching to find the confidence in me. I think it's there (somewhere). I just have to dig deeper and find it. I'm not the typical marathon runner. In fact, I still have a hard time seeing myself as a 'distance' runner. I was just getting my conf...

I know that a lot of people deal with nerves before a marathon. I feel very unprepared (which I know is also normal). But I also know that missing some key runs probably really does leave me unprepared. I did a hilly 12 miles yesterday. It was harder than I had hoped. I think partly was that I'm just really tired of running in the cold wind! And my stomach wasn't playing too nice. I'm officially on the 'taper' of the training plan. I have a couple of short runs this week, an 8 miler this weekend, a couple of short runs the following week, and then it's race time. I think I might puke. I keep telling myself that this race has NO time limit. I can do this. Hydrate, refuel, walk as needed. Just keep moving forward. Don't over think it. Have fun! But right now, I'm just really nervous!

The marathon is just a little over 2 weeks away. I'm back to running this week. I've made it through back to back days of 6 mile runs. They weren't stellar, and I wouldn't win any age group awards. But I feel they were solid 6 mile runs. I don't want to over analyze it as it will just make me nervous. I'm not sure how I will handle my Long Run this weekend. If I were doing a true 'taper' it would be 12 miles. But at this point my training plan is so messed up, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I don't see myself doing 20. I might do an 18, or a 16. I think I'm going to let my body dictate what to run this weekend. At this point in the game, my goal is not to get injured and to try to stay well. I don't think that pushing through a super long run at this point will really benefit me too much (especially if it pushes me farther back than forward). We'll see. I'm trying not to 'over think it'. I do know that tomorr...

I've hit a low point. It's such a low point that the thought of never running again has fleeted through my brain. I let the thought rattle around for awhile, wallowed a little in the thought of it, then shooed it away. Who am I kidding? I love running. I can't say that I love 'training' sometimes, or getting up at 4am to run in the cold, or coordinating schedules to get in a 4 hour run. So yes, there are times that I 'dread' a run especially if it's a long difficult one that I may not fancy. But I enjoy running. And I wear the label of runner with pride. I wanted to be a part of something here. And I thought running helped me be that 'part'. But, I'm realizing that I don't think it did. And I've hit a part of the training where my confidence was wavering simply because that's really my personality. I've never really been one to have a lot of self confidence or really believe in myself. So this time I was putting a lot of...

No running this week. It's been a very difficult week. My heart is too raw to re-live. So I won't elaborate on why my heart is broken. Let's just say that the running support I thought I had is no longer support. A recap of my week... Kid gets flu. Kid gets pneumonia in addition to the flu. Kid stops eating/drinking. Kid almost dehydrates. Begin the hour by hour watch about having him admitted to the hospital. Mom gets low grade fever. Mom's fever keeps rising. Mom develops a hacking cough. Kid starts having watery explosive poops to the point that it goes up the back and down the leg at the same time. Mom is busy constantly trying to clean up the kid and keep him comfortable. Kid will drink but not eat. Kid will eat but not drink. Kid poops more. Mom's head feels as if it is about to explode. Mom is dizzy - too dizzy to be safe home alone with kid. How is it possible to have this much snot? Dad has to miss work to come help. Mom sleeps. Kid sleeps. Dad sleeps. ...