Could it be? Was this just a fluke or was it for real? Is it possible that I am overcoming my fear of running solo in the dark?
Today, I got up before anyone else could wake up. I snuck downstairs, got on the treadmill to get 1 mile before the crying began. (Lil Man - not me). He got his flu shot on Monday. He didn't sleep well last night. He was upset that his 'green light' on his clock wasn't on. He didn't want me to run. He did want me to run. Basic, 3 year old meltdown. It just happened to be at 5:40am.
After some debate, I told the family I was running outside. I needed a few minutes - some distance to clear my head. I just needed a moment for me. I didn't want to get on the treadmill. Basically, I was 'over it' today. But I grabbed a long sleeve shirt, a jacket, my knuckle lights (affiliate link) , and my (affiliate link) NoxGear vest. I didn't even have a charged garmin or tom tom (gasp I know!). I thought about turning on an app on my phone, but then told myself to get a grip. Just run for pete's sake - JUST GO RUN!
So I walked out into the dark early morning chilly air. I felt my breath quicken a little. (You know the huge black bear is out here roaming around somewhere. Shut up!) And I take a step. And another step. And then I take off running..... running into the darkness. My knuckle lights light the way. And my vest is so bright I'm pretty sure aircraft can see me. I get less than a quarter mile from the house (my pepper spray. I forgot my pepper spray. Maybe I should have taken my phone? Shut up!) JUST RUN!
I was running a familiar route so I pretty much knew the distance. (I wonder what my pace is? Will you just shut up and run?!?) JUST RUN!
And run I did. I didn't run very far since I was feeling more tenderness in the hamstring than what I was comfortable with. So after my short run, I decided to walk it back to the house. I didn't feel defeated about any pace, or the fact that I was walking, or the lack of distance. It was a peaceful, solo, walk in the pitch black darkness. No fear - no freak out of being out there - just me - the stillness of the dark quiet morning.
Maybe running alone in the dark isn't so bad after all....
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