If you've been reading along, or know me in real life, you know that this last year has not been the best in terms of running. No fears, I'm not going to re-hash any of it. I'm ready to move on.
But because of the tumultuous year, I've had a lot to think about. I feel slightly removed from my running group (probably more so it's my own self consciousness possibly coming through and not the actual reality). I guess I feel a little (pardon my slang) like the red-headed step-child. It doesn't help that I've been injured.
But during this time, I've come to make some self realizations:
The first being that I really didn't notice that in most cases, I would see who else that I knew might be running a race before I registered. I mean, really, how silly is that? If there is a race that I truly want to run, what difference should it make who is or who isn't running it?!?
The second is that I always felt that I needed someone else to help me be a faster better runner. Like I couldn't do it on my own.... When the reality is, I think I can (be a faster better runner). I don't need someone to meet me at the track. I don't need someone to run with me in the dark. I don't need someone to push me on the treadmill. I don't need someone to spur me on. Sure, it helps not to be alone, and it helps to have someone to push and motivate. But there is a difference between a want and a need. (And just to be clear, if you are next to me on the treadmill at the gym, at some point I am racing you. It's just how I roll. I can't help myself).
The third realization is that you are what you think. If I think that I can't do it; chances are I won't. And I really need to work on self doubt and negative thought patterns. I am strong enough.
I am enough.
That statement alone could sum up this post. It's time that I stopped looking (outside) myself but started looking within.
As I'm looking at the upcoming year of races, I'm approaching it very different than years past. Oh yeah, I plan to race again. You know better than to think I won't rejoin the racing crowd. I love it. This year I'm trying to focus more on races that I truly want to run, on my improvement, improving my time, my stamina, my goals verses comparing myself to others. I have a really hard time with the last part, but I'm a work in progress you know.
See you at the starting line, the finish line, and all of the places in between.
Is there a particular area with running that you struggle with?
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