And I have to say that I am very surprised with myself. I thought that I would feel regret, or doubt my decision. But I have so say I have never been so relieved in my entire life that I am not running a race. I think training back to back for 4 marathons to only run 2, really did a number on me. So I believe that I made the best decision (for me) to bail on this race.
In fact, it feels as though a lot of things changed this year with me regarding my running. Running has at times given me a sense of community. But I've also found that running can also be very lonely. I suppose I have tried to use running as a way to try to find my path - no pun intended - here. And in a way it has opened some doors for me, but in some ways it also left me longing for home.
I am that runner - not fast enough for the fast kids - but just a little too fast for the slower kids. So I find myself in a 'what now?' sort of place.
I have actually asked people that I don't know that well. Ok - don't really know that well at all, to run with me to help push me to a faster pace. Talk about putting away your pride to put yourself out there. I'm for the most part currently back to where I started when I moved here 7 years ago - still running solo as most runners have goals of their own that they want to reach. And I do understand. I do totally understand.
But since my races a couple of weeks ago, I've been having hip pain. I took 4 days off and then tried to run. My run on Monday resulted in pain with walking once I got off the treadmill. The pain lasted for a couple of days. I'm now on 5 days rest and plan to do a test run on Monday to see how things feel. But I haven't run a long run since the first weekend in September. The half is two weeks away on October 26.
And I'm not sure what I will do at this point. I will have a better idea after I run Monday. If I don't have pain I will have to access if I can build back the mileage to be able to finish the half. I haven't run consistently in over 2 weeks.
But I'm actually thinking of giving up running races (all distances even 5Ks) for awhile. I am feeling very disconnected from my running community, and disconnected from where I currently live in general. So maybe it's time that I made some changes.
Stay tuned. I'll let you know when I figure it out :-)