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Embracing The Changes In Life

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Someone recently asked me about my running and how I currently feel about it. True, I'm not running 5 days per week as I have in the past. I'm not even running my usual 3. I think my new norm for awhile (maybe forever) might be 2 days a week.

How do I feel about it? I feel liberated. I feel like stepping outside of the model of runner to something bigger. Because I've said it before, and I will say it again, I am more than just a runner.
As I grow older with my family, I realize that life is constantly changing. I am constantly changing. And learning to embrace the change definitely makes for an easier transition. For probably the first time in my life, I am

No Running This Week

No running this week. It's been a very difficult week. My heart is too raw to re-live. So I won't elaborate on why my heart is broken. Let's just say that the running support I thought I had is no longer support.

A recap of my week...

Kid gets flu. Kid gets pneumonia in addition to the flu. Kid stops eating/drinking. Kid almost dehydrates. Begin the hour by hour watch about having him admitted to the hospital. Mom gets low grade fever. Mom's fever keeps rising. Mom develops a hacking cough. Kid starts having watery explosive poops to the point that it goes up the back and down the leg at the same time. Mom is busy constantly trying to clean up the kid and keep him comfortable. Kid will drink but not eat. Kid will eat but not drink. Kid poops more. Mom's head feels as if it is about to explode. Mom is dizzy - too dizzy to be safe home alone with kid. How is it possible to have this much snot? Dad has to miss work to come help. Mom sleeps. Kid sleeps. Dad sleeps. More poop. Much more poop. Then there is vomit, followed by more poop.

Mom gets her heart broken in a way that somehow has wound up hurting more than other heart breaks. Let down. Disappointed. Mad that she allowed herself to open up to people and once again get hurt.

Kid starts eating. Hallelujah! Poop continues.

Now Mom has poops.

Mom gets email that the job she was excited about starting but happened to coincide with the flu is no longer a job. Was told she didn't have time to donate to the project.

Tears followed by more tears.

Tells herself the hurt will stop. The sting of rejection will eventually fade. The desire to 'fit' isn't as important as the thought of it.

Kid refuses nap. Mom is exhausted but at least relieved that kid feels better to throw a fit about nap time.

More poop. More snot.

We are on day 8 of the flu.

Will resume running once I'm well.

Comments

  1. Dang what a horrific week you've had. I'm so sorry that things have not been going your way this week. I'm sending you hopeful thoughts for a good weekend and better next week!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I am back to running some this week. I'm still not 100% but I'm still planning on attempting the marathon in 2 weeks.

      Delete
  2. Wow! Hope things improve for you and you get well soon!

    ReplyDelete

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